Friday, October 30, 2009

Naughty or Nice?

Don't freak out on me over this post's title. Unlike most major retailers, I'm not ready to say hello to the holiday season just yet.

It came about as I was wondering why people choose to do bad things.

When I was younger, probably 7 or 8 years old, I remember reading Ramona Forever by Beverly Cleary.

*Side bar: I also "dressed up" as Ramona in elementary school on the day we were told to dress as our favorite character from a book. Most people dressed up as Raggedy Ann or some nursery rhyme while I had my mom cut my hair short, dressed in the same outfit Ramona wore on the cover and carried the book around with me since no one could tell who I was.

I remember reading a scene where Ramona, highly rebellious in nature, took a tube of toothpaste and slowly squeezed the tube until the entire contents coiled into the sink. I wanted to do that. I wanted to create my own swirled mountain of minty freshness.

That night, not thinking that repercussions were eminent, I started from the bottom of our new tube of off-brand toothpaste and squirted the entire contents into the bathroom sink I shared with my entire family.

My mom walked in as I was putting the finishing touches on my sculpture, and her face immediately tightened. She roared and I stuttered something about how I'd read about Ramona doing it.

Reading about it? Apparently NOT an adequate excuse for endangering my family's dental hygiene for the evening. Luckily, all I had to do was scrape up what toothpaste was left, put it in a sandwich baggie and use it myself for the next month or so.

The real purpose of this story is to actually tell you that someone tried to set my car on fire today.

I know.

I needed a minute to let that sink in, so I guess you can have one too.

Apparently someone was strolling by my office, saw my car parked on the street and thought, "Why don't I shove a rag in this gas tank, light it on fire and walk away?"

Luckily, our security was alerted when someone saw MY CAR ON FIRE on the street. A guard took the jacket off his back, threw it in the gutter filled with water from the rain, then smothered the flames.

My hero.

Chicago's bomb and arson squad, after asking me 20 times if I have an angry ex-boyfriend or ex-husband, thinks it was probably some "kid" who saw something like that on t.v. and wanted to see a car explode himself.

About 30 minutes before our security guard came into the office to give me the news, I was on the phone with my sister, who just bought her first house.

When she asked me what was new, I answered, "Eh, nothing really. Same old."

That'll teach me.


Andrea said...

So insane/scary! Hope you're doing ok and have recovered from the chaos. Can't wait to see you tomorrow and get the full story. Have fun tonight!

Writers Unite. said...

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